I love watching my kids do anything they enjoy - currently my youngest and last at home is into hockey - he loves it.
The team does something that drives me crazy though and seems a little disrespectful - but I think I am the only parent who sees it that way. Whether they are playing at home or away, whether they win or lose, at the end of the game they all go to the middle of the ice and 'celebrate' banging their sticks on the ice. (I have stressed to my child how much I dislike this - but he does it because everyone else is doing it)
I could see it if they had won a game at home -you can celebrate - You are in your own house. But when you are the away team and you win - its a slap in the face to the home team who is going to the locker room to lick their wounds. And even worse, when you are the away team and you still 'celebrate' after a loss - what are you celebrating - you just got your 'rear-end' handed to you - go to the locker room and lick your wounds; let the home team celebrate their win.
So I happened across a blog the other day that really hit home with how I feel. I posted my thoughts on team sports a few weeks ago and then I came across this blog, I am going to post the part about sports and add the link to the whole blog. I think it is worthy of a share.
So this story hits home - my son plays on a C hockey team and according to the tryout numbers - they aren't the best of the best at their age level - but they are a great team together. They have had a really great season so far with only 4 losses. As a mom I want them to have fun - I would be a liar if I didn't say "I want them to win" - but even more "I want THEM to WANT to win - to know how important it is to know they earned their spot and to want to be the best they can be. I want them to know that just because they played doesn't mean you get a ribbon at the end of the season. I want them to WANT the trophy and the title that goes with it. I want them to be upset when they lose because they know they can do better - and I WANT them to quit banging their sticks on the ice at away games - win or lose!
I want these boys to know that to succeed they have to put forth more effort than just showing up and screwing off. They have to have the drive to win - it will carry them further than any ribbon for coming in last - or even second.
Good Luck Cougars!!
The team does something that drives me crazy though and seems a little disrespectful - but I think I am the only parent who sees it that way. Whether they are playing at home or away, whether they win or lose, at the end of the game they all go to the middle of the ice and 'celebrate' banging their sticks on the ice. (I have stressed to my child how much I dislike this - but he does it because everyone else is doing it)
I could see it if they had won a game at home -you can celebrate - You are in your own house. But when you are the away team and you win - its a slap in the face to the home team who is going to the locker room to lick their wounds. And even worse, when you are the away team and you still 'celebrate' after a loss - what are you celebrating - you just got your 'rear-end' handed to you - go to the locker room and lick your wounds; let the home team celebrate their win.
So I happened across a blog the other day that really hit home with how I feel. I posted my thoughts on team sports a few weeks ago and then I came across this blog, I am going to post the part about sports and add the link to the whole blog. I think it is worthy of a share.
You Can Keep Your Participation Ribbon
(Johnathan Hinshaw)
Winning Isn't Everything, It's The Only Thing
This past year my son played pop warner football for the first time ever. He started with flag football, as most children do, but soon found out that tackle football is a whole different ball game. Not only did he have to get used to getting hit, he had to learn how to tackle other players while avoiding injury. This was brand new. Everything changed when we graduated from the Pee-Wee division to the Pop Warner arena.
While other teams gave out participation prizes, our coach did not. You either won, or you lost. The only prize you would get for playing would be a checkmark in the winning column and a damn good feeling of accomplishment. Or a check mark in the losing column and lots of laps to run the next day. I loved it...
I watched as my son's team went undefeated for the entire season. They won every game they played. It was amazing. As a father, I was very proud. This team prepared to win and losing was not an option.
As we approached the playoffs, their winning streak stayed in tact. Out of the 10 games we practiced for and played, we lost zero. We were the team to beat with an undefeated record. And then...it happened. The very last game we played, our "Super Bowl", was lost. The boys were crushed. I take that back, they were devastated! After that game, as we circled up to hear the coach deliver his final speech you could see the entire team was in tears, some of them shaking and all of them crying.
My son's team had been beaten. After going undefeated all season long, they finally got to experience what it felt like to lose.
Try telling those boys that it didn't matter whether they won or lost. As the referees came by with the consolation prize (the participation ribbons) - not one child took it. Not one kid felt like that made up for the fact that they had lost the only game that really mattered.
Not all pop warner teams were like this. This was a special breed. The coach was amazing, the parents were awesome. The kids showed up to play their hearts out - they didn't want a ribbon, they wanted a win.
As a father, I appreciated how my son's coach instilled in him the value of a win. That if you put your mind to it, you could accomplish great things. But, my son also learned a very valuable life lesson... Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. My boy is learning at a very early age that it takes more than being present to succeed in this life. If you want something, you fight for it. And that creates drive!
Participation Ribbons Instill The Wrong Belief System
What are we teaching children when we give them ribbons and/or prizes just for showing up? Imagine that child as a grown up in the sales field...
"Hey Jimmy, we realize that you didn't hit any of your sales goals - but you showed up and you sure did enjoy yourself so we're going to give you that sales bonus anyways."
That will never happen! By giving participation ribbons, we're sending a message of entitlement, rather than drive or what I like to call HUSTLE.
So this story hits home - my son plays on a C hockey team and according to the tryout numbers - they aren't the best of the best at their age level - but they are a great team together. They have had a really great season so far with only 4 losses. As a mom I want them to have fun - I would be a liar if I didn't say "I want them to win" - but even more "I want THEM to WANT to win - to know how important it is to know they earned their spot and to want to be the best they can be. I want them to know that just because they played doesn't mean you get a ribbon at the end of the season. I want them to WANT the trophy and the title that goes with it. I want them to be upset when they lose because they know they can do better - and I WANT them to quit banging their sticks on the ice at away games - win or lose!
I want these boys to know that to succeed they have to put forth more effort than just showing up and screwing off. They have to have the drive to win - it will carry them further than any ribbon for coming in last - or even second.
Good Luck Cougars!!
*** End of season update ***
The PWC team won the State Hockey Tournament.
The first time in 21 years!
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